Legalizing Thieving Wretches In Seattle

     The following missive was left in my pocket in lieu of my wallet, most likely after passing a boy who was artfully dodging about.

Fagin, a advocate of criminal justice reform and friend to poor children everywhere.

     It can be hard for us poor unfortunates, don’t agree my dear? Why, I quite humbly help poor street urchins oppressed by society earn a living. And what do most jurisdictions do about it? Criminalize the little scamps and even prosecute people like me!

     But there is a shining light from Seattle that points to the shiny coins to be pickpocketed liberated from victims of theft rich oppressors! They, ho have already allowed safe havens free from pernicious coppers, are considering making all misdemeanors for many people in effect totally legalbut only for the poor and oppressed by “amend[ing] the definition of ‘duress’ to include crimes committed due to poverty or during a behavioral health incident. It would also amend the Seattle Municipal Code (SMC) to make these crimes ‘de minimis’ to allow a court to dismiss charges brought.” It’s not like assault, theft, harassment, and trespass are too much for the people to put up with, after all.

     There are some who complain and want to punish us poor dregs, but the enlightened City of Seattle has our backs, so you’d better watch yours.

     It’d be too cruel (to Australia) to send ‘em all to Australia, wouldn’t it?

     The proposal can be read below.

2021 Seattle City Council B… by ThePoliticalHat

     A full analysis of the proposal to legalize most misdemeanor crime in Seattle including assault, theft, harassment, and tespass.

Analysis of Seattle City Co… by ThePoliticalHat


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