If You Were a Chipmunk

     The following “story” was written the veritable “zombie” as just belittlement of the “celebrated” Hugo nominated “science fiction story” “If You Were a Dinosaur, My Love.”

     It is, in all honestly, far better written than that dinosaur snuff porn…

If You Were a Chipmunk

If you were a chipmunk you would be a five-foot-eleven-inch chipmunk that stood up on its hind legs and bared its chipmunky incisors and I would build a hutch for you and sleep under it wearing my pink seersucker tutu.

If you were a chipmunk you would be the hottest coolest chipmunk in the known world, that is the new magical world of equality and egalitarian equalness which is now ruled by extremely perfect special rulers.

If you were a chipmunk and I were a chipmunk admirer I would lead you on a golden chipmunk chain that was totally unlike the chains of slavery or other types of oppression out into the dark forest of white people.

If you were a chipmunk and I were someone who jacked off majestically while thinking of chipmunks I would lead you into that dark forest where boorish bad-old-boy rednecks waved rifles around and chewed snuff.

If you were a chipmunk and I was an avid egalitarian chipmunk supporter I would lead you into that dark forest with your sharpened chipmunky chipmunk teeth so you could tear out the throats of all the people on the following list who ever since the dawn of time voted for Ted Cruz; here are their home addresses so you can burn their houses down with your chipmunky matches held in your chipmunky paws.

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The War on Catgirls

     If a Georgia lawmaker gets his way, genetically engineering catgirls for domestic ownership will be illegal.  Not specifically catgirls, but any combination of DNA from human and non-human sources:

“A state lawmaker wants to prevent research in Georgia that could create a hybrid human-animal embryo. Rep. Tom Kirby (R-Gainesville) says such research is already being done in the United States and he’s heard possibly even in Georgia.

“‘It deals with the banning of mixing of those two different types of species and creating this Frankenstein science,’ he tells WSB’s Sandra Parrish.

“It’s not hard to find images on the internet of glowing cats, pigs, rabbits, and monkeys that were injected with a DNA from jellyfish as embryos.  The research is done to help scientists map the genes that can cause devastating diseases in humans such as Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, and diabetes.”

     Levity involving “catgirls” aside, precluding the possibility that non-human DNA may be used to treat diseases seems pre-emotively foolish.  The proposed legislation would ban the use of organs from animals be used for transplant to humans.  The possibility of genetically engineering and animal to grow a biologically compatible human organ would save an innumerable number of lives. I mean, what catgirl maid wouldn’t want to donate a kidney to her loving master?

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All Your Internet Are Belong To Us

     The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) voted along partisan lines to take over the internet.  The Internet will now be considered a “public utility”.

     The Orwellian “Net Neutrality” is claimed to stop those eeevil corporates and “assures the rights of Internet users to go where they want, when they want, and the rights of innovators to introduce new products without asking anyone’s permission”…  well, anyone’s permission aside from an unelected board that can act outside both Congress and the Presidency.

     How far will this new rule go?  Nobody outside of the bureaucracy and Google know since the plan hasn’t been publicly released!

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The Four Percent Misconception

     Child molestation advocate Alfred Kinsey declared that only 10% of people were straight with gay and bisexual individuals being a full 90% of the population.  Now-a-days, despite gays and bisexuals probably comprising only a few percent of the population, young people believe that nearly one third, if not more, of the population if homosexual or bisexual.  Throw in a penchant for inventing genders left and right, and you have some deluded fools saying that non-LGBTQ&c. comprise less than 4% of the population!

     So sure of this, the special little snowflake doesn’t even know if she(?) has ever met a “cishet” before?

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Unicorns and the Gender Binary Oppression

     One might have thought that unicorns would be LGBTQ&c. friendly.  Turns out they are dastardly oppressors who force the gender binary on unsuspecting Sociology Professors:

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Milk and the Evolution Deniers

     One of the pseudo-snarky blithering idiots at Jezebel (part of the SJW-Gawker anti-industrial complex), who declares herself “a doctor educated by the School of Common Sense and the University of What Is Wrong With You” declares that Adults Should Not Be Drinking Milk.

     What follows is not a fisking since the article in question was so short and bereft of any attempts at serious argument, that fisking would definitionally be unpossible.

     ”Point: No other species can digest milk after babyhood.”

     Yes.  Anyone want to guess why?

     Correct!  It’s due to evolution!

     Mammals lose the ability to digest and metabolize lactose.  The retention of this ability as an adult is a recent evolutionary development, which arose in different populations.  It is also one of the fastest spreading genetic traits.

     Why?  Because it is evolutionarily advantageous.  Milk is a renewable source of fats, proteins, sugars, vitamins, and nutrients. As babies, it is all we need to sustain us.  Being able to utilize this source as an adult can be the difference between living and dying.  Even if it is not a matter of life and death, it can provide that additional nutrition that gives the edge for healthy levels for nourishment, and thus a greater likely hood of reproducing.  Further, the ability to metabolize lactose provides even more energy and calories, beyond simply utilizing the rest of the components of milk while simply tolerating lactose.

     Of course, many idjits think that “evolution” is just a way of denying the existence of a creator god.  Similarly, they consider nature to be fragile static state that will collapse if there is any change.  The earth changes on its own and nature changes, with species arising and either evolutionarily adapting or dying out.

     The ability to produce lactase to metabolize lactose is a trait that benefits humans who have that ability, and is why it is not only propagated but is being spread rapidly.

     It’s evolution.  It’s science.  Heck, even most creationists accept this level of evolution as scientific fact.

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Federal Government to Sacrifice Your Children’s Health to Gaia

     Recently, concerns were raised about the Federal Dietary Guidelines being updated with Gaia being placed before lowly human beings.

“In December, the Associated Press (AP) reported that the Dietary Guidelines Advisory Committee (DGAC) of the USDA would make recommendations based on nutritional considerations, as it has done historically, as well as environmental impacts.

“According to the AP report, the committee’s draft read that a plant-based diet is ‘more health promoting and is associated with lesser environmental impact than is the current average US diet.’

“While the DGAC did review literature on sustainable diets, the USDA says the effects of food production on the planet will not factor in to its final dietary guidelines.”

     Unsurprisingly, they lied, and are now touting “plant-based” diets for “sustainability” rather than explicit worship of mother Gaia.

“The federal committee responsible for nutrition guidelines is calling for the adoption of ‘plant-based’ diets, taxes on dessert, trained obesity ‘interventionists’ at worksites, and electronic monitoring of how long Americans sit in front of the television.”

“DGAC proposed a variety of solutions to address obesity, and its promotion of what it calls the ‘culture of health.’

“‘The persistent high levels of overweight and obesity require urgent population- and individual-level strategies across multiple settings, including health care, communities, schools, worksites, and families,’ they said.

“In response, DGAC called for diet and weight management interventions by ‘trained interventionists’ in healthcare settings, community locations, and worksites.”

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When the Voices in Your Head are Raping Each Other…

“Rape culture is denying the experiences that plural people [i.e. people with multiple personalities] have with rape and sexual assault.”

     Yes, you are oppressing this mentally ill special snowflake by not recognizing the voices in their head being raped by other voices in their head.

     Also, being anti-magic is oppressive…

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How Can Anyone Be Oppressed, When Everyone is a H8r?

     With the Supreme Court poised to impose Gay Marriage on America, one might think that gays, bisexuals, and lesbians might be venerated as trumping “oppression,” but you’d be wrong.

     Why?

     Gays, bisexuals, and lesbians are now the new oppressors.  Who are they oppressing?  Trannies!

     It turns out that the idea of “Kyriarchy” has yet another intersectional layer of oppression in addition to sexuality, biological sex, and race: Trans-genderism, inclusive, of course, of any and all “genders” aside from the “cis-gendered”.

     As a recap, “intersecionality” declares that “Kyriarchs” (i.e. Straight White cis-gendered X-tian males) oppress everyone else by getting them to oppress each other. For example a straight White woman oppresses gays and non-Whites, while a gay Black man oppresses women by being a man, and so on.  However, with “trans-ness” now included, not even being a Black lesbian is enough… you must support “cis-genderism” (i.e. thinking you are the gender that you actually are).

     The “father of the British gay rights movement,” Peter Tatchell, has been declared “bigoted” and “transphobic” for not toeing the line when it came to “trans” talking points.  What evil deed prompted this?  An open letter signed along with many others asking for toleration of differing viewpoints.  And if anything, the hardcore Left hates toleration.

“Intersectional feminists and the trans lobby now regard only a very narrow set of views on gender as acceptable, and somehow those who critique the sex-industry are now considered ‘hateful’ to women and transsexuals, such that yesterday’s political correctness is now quite un-PC. Many prominent feminists have found themselves falling short of the new standards: Germaine Greer, who was almost no-platformed at Cambridge University last week for her alleged ‘transphobia,’ also signed the letter.”

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News of the Week (Febuary 22nd, 2015)

 

News of the Week for Febuary 22nd, 2015


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