Witchcraft to be Taught in College

     The increasing trend in many African nations is to engage in “decolonization” by purging Western civilization and science from the continent. This includes colleges where magical lighting bolt throwing witches are defended as being as valid as Isaac Newton, if not more so.

     Now UNESCO is funding studies involving witchcraft at the University of Zambia.

“Report has it that UNESCO has given the University of Zambia $340,000 to develop a Degree Programme to safeguard Intangible Heritage with the first intake comprising of 20 students.

“… Intangible Heritage comprises of practices such as Witchcraft, social practices such as expression through music, Knowledge, skills-as well as the instruments, objects, artifacts and rituals, the Zambia National Commission for UNESCO has explained.”

     The University of Zambia has said that the degree program will not actually train students in witchcraft and the program is purely a cultural study; practicing it is illegal in Zambia, which according to its Constitution is a Christian nation.

     However, not everyone in Zambia agrees with that:

“In November last year, Higher Education Minister Professor Nkandu Luo announced that Zambia should consider research and the study of witchcraft as a science that can be used productively for the benefit of the country.

“Professor Luo said Zambian scientists can learn from the South African counterparts who have commenced studies in witchcraft in some universities.

“‘I could not help but think of witchcraft when I saw a mobile phone put into a box and it turned into a lady’s pant!’ she said during the commemoration of the World Science Day for Peace and Development dubbed: ‘Recreating interest in science, technology and innovation’.”

     Meanwhile, in South Africa, they prefer to literally teach and license witches.

“South African Minister of Higher Education and Training, Blade Nzimande, has announced plans to have witchcraft included in the curriculum from 2018, aimed at awarding a Bachelor of Science (BSc) degree in Witchcraft.

“Nzimande made this known while speaking to representatives from student unions around the country, announcing the move and urging future university applicants to consider taking Witchcraft as a course of study.

“‘There is a lot we can learn from witchcraft, like how they fly in that winnowing basket. Imagine if we learn that skill; it will eradicate traffic jams and everyone will just get in their basket and fly. It also means we will not be importing fuel anymore.'”

     While launching the school, Minister Nzimande said:

“To be enrolled in this school which is open to any intending and practicing witch or wizard, one needs to have passed Mathematics and Physical Science in in [sic] grade 12.”

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10 Responses to Witchcraft to be Taught in College

  1. avatar Mark Matis says:

    Never fear. Whitey’s guilt will bail them out once again. Because, after all, this clearly would work if it weren’t for Whitey’s evil. And ABCNNBCBS and their dead-tree fellow travelers fully agree. And Western hive dwellers lap it up and beg for more.

  2. avatar DaveM says:

    The way the world works doesn’t change based on how you’d like the world to work. Even if there is a world populated by green skinned aliens who’ve never heard of Earth, everything from the rules governing circuits to those governing the spin of atoms will be exactly the same with only the units changed for local preferences.

  3. avatar T says:

    I think this is perfectly valid, as long as the “professor” has a bone stuck through his nose and wears a necklace with a shrunken head on it. And “lessons” will consist of him dancing wildly around a big boiling pot while shouting “boogity boogity boogity BOOO!!!!”

  4. avatar Nostromo says:

    Those Stoopid Africans. Everyone knows witches fly on brooms, not in baskets.

  5. avatar Fish says:

    So Big Oil has been behind the eradication and subterfuge that resulted in our loss of knowledge about flying winnowing baskets?

  6. avatar Zebra Dun says:

    I’m thinking the Albino Afdrican’s will kindly skip this class.

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  8. avatar Lincoln Annie says:

    If I felt that my race was being slandered by theories claiming that IQ differences were genetic, I wouldn’t be in a hurry to prove them right.

  9. Pingback: African colleges now deemphasizing science and technology in favor of witchcraft and voodoo