Dissolving the Last Remnants of the Old Republic

     The following was from one of the 873,035 voices crying out in terror and suddenly silenced following a terrorist attack by “rebels”…

Grand Moff Wilhuff Tarkin, R.I.P.

Grand Moff Wilhuff Tarkin, R.I.P.

Our beloved Emperor has wisely abolished the chaotic nature of “local control” in order to establish peace and prosperity throughout the known galaxy. We even abolished the provincial representatives who kept filibustering the enlightened wisdom of out centralized government! The Imperial Senate is no longer of any concern to us. Why, I have just received word that the Emperor has dissolved the council permanently. The last remnants of the Old Republic have been swept away forever.

After your planet is conquered by peacefully welcomed to the Empire, we will need loyal collaborators intellectuals to help you all dismiss your silly provincial notions and accept the high culture of out beneficent guiding light; an opinion writer for your “Washington Post,” one Lawrence R. Samuel, is a prime candidate for recruitment to our higher ranks!

His logic to abolishing such provincialness and thus the need for any Senate is infallible:

“Why does any of this matter? Quite a bit, as the problem with states goes far beyond their illogic and irrelevance. State governments are expensive to run and taxpayers are forced to foot most of the bill. We can’t afford them anymore — and we don’t need them.

“A federation of states was a wonderful idea in the late 18th century, but represents an unnecessary and costly burden in the early 21st. Two layers of government — federal and local — offers a cleaner, more sensible and much more affordable system than our current one, a notion not unlike cutting out the middle layer of an overly bureaucratic, inefficient company. Eliminating this middle layer would save the American people billions of dollars a year, the kind of money that could go a long way toward paying down our national debt or preparing for our looming crises in Social Security and health care.

“Would abandoning the ‘United States of America’ for something different present challenges? Absolutely. The dismantling of anything more than two centuries old would naturally require considerable effort, a step almost as radical as the uniting of colonies to form states. Not just the political system, but the legal system would have to be overhauled. (Probably a good thing in itself given the vast inconsistencies in laws across state lines.)”

Such sage wisdom! Why, it’d almost be worth it to send out stormtroopers peace keeping forces and just find some other system to… ummm… “test”.

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