Fish-Eating Vegan Mayor Warns Of The Scourge Of Cheese

     For New York Mayor Eric Adams, the scourge of heroin has met its equal in evil in the form of… cheese.

“Adams, a self-proclaimed vegan who claims to have cured his own diabetes and even reversed blindness he was experiencing in one eye by switching to a plant-based diet, was rolling out new initiatives to encourage New Yorkers ‘to have as many plant-based meals as possible.’

“While preparing a bowl of vegan chili in front of City Hall’s press corps, Adams veered into a tangent about the addictiveness of certain foods, particularly cheese.

“‘Food is like a drug,’ Adams said. ‘And in fact, the studies show the same level of brain that encourages you to use drugs also addicts you to food.’”

     Does the Mayor think that cheese is the new crack epidemic? Will police be ordered to ignore the sale of rocks of crack and focus on evil peddlers of cheese cubes?

     At least he’s taking some crime seriously, and will have New Yorkers from the greatest threat of all: Cheese. Heck, some New Yorkers will even eat pizza off the floor of a subway station to get their fix!

     Perhaps, he knows what he’s talking about, and fish is his methadone?

     Won’t someone think of the poor cheese addicts?

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